Monday, August 06, 2007

A Little Humor, Very Little Humor

Below under the line, there is a copy of an Email I sent out to some folks. I now can confirm what so many folks who are so full of B.s. (Bisno support) already know.

I am so very sorry to be so rotten to so many folks. I guess it was during my voluntary military service or my volunteering to teach C.P.R. so many years ago, or perhaps helping to provide a free picnic to several hundred alumni of S.P.H.S., or perhaps paying for and making all the buttons opposing Bob's plans for Ponte Vista, or perhaps joining with Bob in demanding that no senior high school on the Ponte Vista site, or perhaps my alerting L.A.U.S.D. to at least three possible sites in Harbor City or Harbor Gateway where an 810-seat high school will fit.

Oh, I know, many folks are mad at me for leaving the CAC and volunteering to become a member for a two-year term on the Rancho Palos Verdes Traffic Safety Commission. Maybe it is because I feel traffic safety is at least as important as Ponte Vista, or I want to work on traffic safety for more streets than just Western? When I left the CAC, I was extremely well represented in that group by some intelligent, trustworthy, and very competent volunteers who demonstrated that OUR community can win a round or two over out of town developers.

The results of the CAC's recommendations were more than I could have hoped for and I think we are all served better by an eastern R.P.V. resident on the Traffic Safety Commission looking out for traffic safety on the entire peninsula, including Western Avenue. If this is another reason I am such a terrible human being, then I plead guilty to being so very bad.

Whatever it was, I must have gone very wrong somewhere in life to be as bad as I am.

I write this knowing full well that I am not really as bad as many folks consider me. I am human, at least some people think so. I do know some individuals who appear to have a larger chip on their shoulders that some people claim I have. I think my biggest chip is about 61.53 acres in size and may only be eased by having as few houses built on it as possible.

One thing I am truly blessed by is all the great supporters of R1 at Ponte Vista and watching how that movement has grown. I am also extremely indepted to real friends who stand by me when the chips seem to be down. I am not perfect and I haven't met one single person who is. Mr. John Olguin comes pretty close, though.

So in the spirit of some comical satire, I give you my Email to enjoy.

Howdy gang,

It is time I offer a sincere apology and make some confessions to all of you.

I am so very sorry that I have kept the fact that I am actually the worst human on the planet from you, for such a long time.

Yes, gang, it is now time you all know what only a very, very, very, few highly intelligent people know: I am the worst of the worst, and I have been that way all of my life.

I don't really know how old I am. I visit a site that informs me that I am "403 ages" old and about 2% towards being 404 ages old. I don't know how long an age is, but as I confess things to you, you may get some kind of idea how long I have been as bad as I am.

About 2,000 years ago, I made sure, by booking some large tours of the Holy Land, that all the inns in and around Bethlehem were booked solid. Yup, that was me who filled all the inns.

I don't need to mention all the wars I personally han a big hand in starting, I am sure all the textbooks have all the facts on them, so I won't bore you.

There are some other things I need to get off of my chest and confess to you, to make you know beyond a shadow of a doubt how rotten I truly am.

I messed aroung with the compass on the Titanic and sent it too far north in the Atlantic.

I dropped something while onboard the Hindenberg and to try and find it, I lit a match.

I told Barry Bonds at the end of the 1998 season that if he wanted to be remembered, I had some "juice" for him. I also gave him some other stuff, too.

I am the reason Sunken City sunk.

A very long time ago I wanted to see if some folks could run really fast, so I set off a volcano or two around the world. The folks at Pompeii weren't as fast as others and I get credit for proving that.

I created the Edsel by planting the seed for the idea. I didn't think it would come out as ugly as it did, but it showed me that people will believe thoughts I just pop into their heads.

"New Coke" idea. I had been a Pepsi drinker for years and I just thought it would be neat to see if Coca-Cola could put out a drink that tasted more like Pepsi.

I get to take credit too, for giving the folks the will to colorize classic black and white movies.

Right now I am trying to popularize "designer dogs" because I think everyone should get rid of their purebreds and get dogs like our beloved Cookie. She is half lab and half chihuahua. Don't you all just love my creating puggles?

I created mutts to anger all those who love purebreds.

So now you know how mean, bad, and horrible I really am.

Now, can anyone tell me how to get my tongue away from my cheek?

Be well,

Mark Wells
aka M Richards.


Anonymous said...

will the bile from bob and his vested intrests ever stop? they need to stop whining about why they cannot have their way and face reality. tell me, if the old navy housing was in the dodson school area and rpv was going to put this nightmare project there
how would the people who lived across the street feel? would they think they should have their considerations considered? that letter to the paper the other day is a joke. in one sentence they speak of how enviormentially friendly their project will be, then they boast of 2 1/2 acres of waterscape? am i the only one who saw the article 7-30-07 in the la times(?)pg. b3: dry year causes $4,000,000.00 in crop losses in riverside county,causing the governor to declare a state of emergency because of severe prolonged drought conditions. riverside county received less than 4 inches of rain in the last season, well off the average of 12 to 14 inches. or how about 7-13-07 la times, pg a21: hot and dry for decades: climate warming research tell us we could be on the brink of a "perfect drought" the last one was from the late 1880's to the early 1990's. california dried at the same time that the flow of the colorado river declined by almost 40%. during 1990 to 1991 alone, the drought cost california 2 billion dollars in agricultural losses, increased energy costs and damage to the enviorment. what if the drought had last for decades? 19 climate models in a recent study led by rich seager of columbia university show that the southwest is experiencing a transition to a more arid climate. it is prudent for planning bodies and state officals to consider some prolonged scenarios. try and make me believe bob cares about anything but getting every penny out of this project and nothing more. enviormentially responsible my eye. david m. marquez said it perfectly in a letter to the editor,la times 7-27-07 pg a 20:" can we just realize that there are limits to growth? that "smart growth", at best delays the moment when we must concede the limitations of a finite world? after observing the mindless expansion of the los angeles region, predicated on a future of cheap energy that will not be realized. I have to ask are we smarter than a colony of bacteria that reproduces and proliferates until it suddenly dies of from exhaustion of resources? I have an idea, if so many people really want this project, why not swap land with angels gate, put the artists on the navy housing and build 10,000 units over there. surely everyone in that area would support this and bob and his mouthpieces could get away from those horrible people across the street from his land, who are obviously the only ones who think he's nuts.429

lr said...

You don't have to apologize to anybody. I think you've done a great job expressing the views of so many people in sp/rpv because I saw you at the Crown Plaza and I could tell you were realy sincere. Someone said you were going to get involved in that condo explosion downtown too. I think thats fantastic! Who do these builders think they are anyways? There's not going to be anyplace for my grandkids and great-grandkids to play because this great town will be over run by all these projects! Keep up the great work Mr. Wells!

Valerie Smith-Griffin said...

"I am the reason Sunken City sunk"

Let the lawsuits begin!

; )

M Richards said...

Folks, this piece is supposed to be humorous. If you find it a tiny bit funny, that is good. If you don't find it funny at all, then perhaps, you don't get it.

I thank all of those who appreciate what WE are all trying to do to save OUR community. There are haters out there that seem to want only for themselves and don't seem to want to look at the bigger pictures that are out there.

Yes lr, I do care about all of San Pedro. And why shouldn't I? Why don't too many folks who have demonstrated a great deal of B.s. (Bisno support) seem to care only for what is best for them and not all of us?

To Anonymous 2:28 AM, one of my very early ideas, which now seems to be really a bad one, is for LAUSD and Bisno to have swapped land. Bob would build his Senior Housing section at Angels Gate, on former LAUSD land, and LAUSD would get land to build the 2,025-seat high school. Thank goodness I cleared my head of that one, long ago.

A 2-1/2 acre waterscape takes water, electricity, person-hours to maintain, and other factors that the members of the HOA will have to pay for. How long might those folks, who may become members of any Board, want to continue to pay for an amenity that folks like me can enjoy?

It doesn't take any humor to acknowledge that water is sometimes very hard to come by in a desert. How many folks don't realize that L.A. is more desert than anything else?

What might have happened in this area if the San Fransiscito Dam had failed today, instead of so long ago? What ripple affects would that have caused? Think about the destruction and problems that would have occurred if the Baldwin Hills Dam had failed yesterday instead of in the mid-60's?

Some of Bob's plans include conservation issues that look good on paper. There are many folks in my neighborhood of R1 homes that use smart uses for water in and around their homes. Perhaps fewer people drinking water from fewer taps, in a community of single-family housing at Ponte Vista, will also find residents who are as concerned about the environment as Bob claims he is, and they will create their yards to be drought tolerant.

Why don't we allow Bob to build 175.1% more houses than are already at the site? Why is a 795.92% increase in the number of units currently on the site, better?

P.S. The destruction of the Hanging Gardens of Babylon, you guessed it, my doing.